Are you in the midst of last minute shopping for holiday gifts? Oprah Winfrey is known for posting a “Favorite Things” gift list. This list of cringeworthy gifts is the exact opposite. Collected from stores and catalogs, these presents are great for prank gifts and a good laugh.
Remember as kids, when we lost our teeth and waited for the tooth fairy to reward us? We measured age in fractions – as in, “I’m six and a half.” As impatient youngsters we couldn't wait a whole year to be older. The first cringeworthy gift reflects the other end of the age spectrum – the teeth in the glass possibility! Want denture-shaped ice floating in your drink? I’ll pass!
DENTURE ICE CUBE TRAY
Do you know people who use the expression “It’s like flushing money down the toilet?” Here’s a gift that allows them to do it guilt-free. This printed toilet paper looks like a roll of authentic hundred dollar bills. It comes with an added value – it’s advertised to be completely safe for your bottom and your septic system.
MONEY ROLL TOILET PAPER
Will it give you more holiday cheer to decorate someone’s beard rather than a Christmas tree? If so, each of these beard baubles comes with a small hair clip to make it easy to attach. The ornaments are also touted as sturdy enough to wear day and night.
BEARD BAUBLES
We’ve heard it said that “cleanliness is next to Godliness.” Jesus Soap offers an opportunity to cleanse the soul while washing your hands. It is a gift of efficiency – the ability to wash away sins and dirt simultaneously.
JESUS SOAP
The tin boasts that it contains “fifteen high quality sterile bacon-shaped bandages that smell exactly like the real thing.” Imagine the aroma of frying bacon wafting from your next cut or burn? There’s more – a free prize inside the box. What could they possibly add to enhance the experience?
BACON BANDAGES
Christmas, Chanukah, and Kwanza arrive this week. In the spirit of the season I wish you joy, love, peace, and a little bit of cringeworthy laughter.