Recently Pope Francis apologized and it made the headlines. Everyone makes mistakes and there are no exceptions. An apology is a moment of humility when we acknowledge a mistake and signal a heartfelt desire to correct it in the future. We are imperfect beings and errors in judgment happen.

Pope Francis was walking through a crowd of people when a woman grabbed his hand and pulled him towards her. She surprised him and interrupted his forward momentum. He pulled his hand from her grip vigorously — and the cameras caught the moment. The Pope is a man of the people and in spite of the circumstance, his action appeared harsh and aggressive. The video of the incident went viral. When it was brought to his intention, Pope Francis offered this apology: “Many times we lose our patience. I do too, and I’m sorry for yesterday’s bad example.”

Even if we’re surprised that someone is insulted by something we say or do, when people show they’re offended, we don’t get to decide they’re not.

I’ve said and done things I’ve wanted to retract immediately. My instant fear is that I’ve damaged a relationship beyond repair. In the moment I wish for a “do over.” That worked when we were kids, but as mature adults how do we express regret so it rings true?

Apologies beg for the act of forgiveness. The best way to express genuine regret is to own the mistake and the pain it's caused — to show we take responsibility for our actions. It’s also a good idea to keep Benjamin Franklin’s advice in mind: “Never ruin an apology with an excuse.”

Making sincere apologies is difficult. I can think of three I’ve received that felt genuine:

“I wish we had the chance to live that over again. What I did was unacceptable. I promise to never make that same mistake again.

“I am profoundly sorry for what I said. Can you forgive me?”

“I am so sorry. Nobody is more disappointed in me than I am. I would never hurt you intentionally.”

The first apology is an adult version of a “do over” — maybe that’s why it was easy for me to accept. Each example is caring and shows desire to move the relationship forward. They are good models, but as I consider using them, my concern is that they would not sound like me. Expressing authentic regret – even if the words tumble out awkwardly – feels like the best option.

Apologies do not change the past, but they do offer the possibility of a fresh future.