As 2020 approaches, let’s try something different. Studies show that approximately half of us make New Year's Resolutions, but only a tiny percentage of us fulfill our promises – which means that 92% of those of us who make resolutions wind up feeling like undisciplined losers. Why start the new year with something we know will lead to disappointment? Instead of focusing on all the ways we’re not good enough and beating ourselves up for the ways we wish we would change, let’s try something new.

Don’t try to stop smoking.

Don’t give up booze.

Don’t ditch the donuts.

Don’t join the gym.

Don’t try to meditate daily.

Don’t say you’ll forgive and forget.

Don’t resolve to lose weight.

Don’t leave your significant other.

Don’t try to be a better person.

Don’t finish that project.

Don’t sign up for that class.

Don’t declutter your house.

Don’t get out of debt.

When we make promises before we’re ready, we convince ourselves of what we suspected all along – we don’t have willpower; we’re not trustworthy; and we don’t follow through on our plans.

Every time we break a promise to ourselves we trigger our “not good enough” wounds. What happens next? We smoke that cigarette; eat that ice cream; and collapse on the couch convinced we’re self-defeating losers.

No more!

Wait for the right time. Trust that once you’re ready, your commitment will lead to action. Before then we can never succeed no matter how much we think we should.

Here’s what I know I’m ready for… I love my friends and family. With no fear of failure, I can make a New Year’s promise to schedule time with them – it’s already on the calendar. I enjoy my clients. I can freely commit to serve them well in 2020. I like challenges. This year I hope to take one on. I’m not sure which one will occupy my calendar, so I’ll watch for it to appear and embrace it as if it’s my plan.

We’re not losers. We simply need to follow our readiness. Ram Tzu – my favorite philosopher – says, “You can have everything if you don’t want more than you’ve got.”

Happy 2020. I wish you everything!

Quote: Wayne Liquorman